Wednesday, March 04, 2009

a good pair of genes

we all know that i'm a huge klutz. (if you are unaware/unconvinced, see here, here, here, and here.) while leading to many injuries, big and small, this fact has, nonetheless, made my life kind of exciting. or painful. whatever.

last week, as i was getting out of bed to hit the snooze button, i bashed my knee directly into the corner of the bed frame...yet another adventure and injury due to my inability to avoid walking into objects. like door frames. or matt. 

as i was, once again, pondering my clumsiness, i thought about the biological basis for my problem, and came up with the different categorical genes we are all either blessed with or missing entirely and the consequences my progeny might have based on my own & matt's genes:

first, there is the hand-eye coordination gene. this allows one to play sports in a respectable manner and, in general, catch/throw things without looking like a fool. this gene has entirely passed me up. on the other hand, it stopped by matt's DNA and had a party.

next is the dancing/yoga/graceful gene, which makes an appearance when one dances or does yoga or, generally, does anything artful with one's body. i was fortunate to be blessed with this gene. however, if you've ever seen matt try to dance...well, just consider yourself lucky. 

and last, the essential and simplest of the three, the general coordination gene. having this gene means that you can successfully do such simple activities as walking, running, and generally moving around without falling down or hurting yourself. as i have well established, this gene is nowhere to be found in my genome. i know it seems contradictory with the last gene i have, but believe me, it's possible. good ole' matt though is blessed immensely with this gene.

so, what does this mean for our progeny?

best case scenario: all genes take root into their DNA. awesome. 

worst case scenario: none of these genes make their way into their DNA. and they'll simply be awkward forever. tragic.

let us hope for the best. and that one day, i don't die. and if i do, just blame my genes.


  1. Remind me to marry a man who is really really coordinated and never gets sick or else my kids are DOOMED.

  2. Matt has a few siblings/parents who might argue that he also missed the hand/eye coordination gene. While he is awesome with many things his ability to draw/write(not with a computer) and paint have not always been his strong suit. He almost go thrown aout of Kindergarten because he couldn't/souldn't color, sut and paste, even though he was reading at a second grade level.

  3. You kill me, Amanda! And I have to say be prepared for the worst... Poor little Hazel can't make it too far without running into a doorknob/door/wall/chair. Usually it's good for a few laughs. I'm an evil mom I know, but i feel somewhat justified in knowing that once she's older she'll be laughing at me for doing the same things.

  4. I get clumsy when my jeans are too tight. Stupid jeans.
    oh wait...

  5. Matt has a few... himselves... that would also argue that the hand-eye coordination gene had no party at his genome (although, to my parents/siblings: my hand-eye coordination and general athleticism HAS increased dramatically through my twenties). And my dancing fully rocks. That gene had an all-night dance party at my DNA. DJed by the Saw.

  6. Hmmm. I have none of the three. Sad

  7. Say what you will about Matt's dancing, the boy knows how to gyrate.