Tuesday, February 06, 2007

x-acto knife: 1; nama: 0

i was never a boy scout and, therefore, never received by totin' chip (that's chip, not chit, as was pointed out to me by wikipedia & matt). my only experience with "understand[ing] and agree[ing] to certain principles of using different tools with blades" extends to a 1 hour class at girl's camp when i was 13. and all i got out of that was the j.c.'s signature in my young women's camp book that quickly got tossed as soon as i stopped attending girl's camp.

however...you would think that my common sense would kick in when i find myself cutting the top of a small file box off with an old x-acto knife, whose sharp and bacteria-ridden blade is facing my hand. you would think that, and, truth be told, the thought to turn the blade the opposite direction so that it was cutting away from my hand did occur to me, but, apparently, in this circumstance, it is not the thought that counts.

talk to the 1 inch gash at the base of my thumb that was closed up with "medical" glue (which the "doctor" said would stay put for a good week, but promptly fell off as soon as it got wet, causing difficulties on the part of my gaping wound to want to remain gaping (because the "doctor" said i didn't need stitches (who actually gave me the option while examining by "borderline" cut to get stitched up, and even though my macabre-ness was all ready for stitches, it would have ended up being a hassle, which, ironically, "it" has become a hassle, no thanks to dr. "i-can-put-stitches-in-anything-but-i'll-just-glue-your-gash-together-with-this-tough-'doctor's'-glue-which-will-definitely-stay-put-for-at-least-5-days-so-your-thumb-will-heal-and-not-leave-a-huge-fat-scar")), and difficulties on my own part in attempting to sooth my now angry and still gaping wound, along with my now tetanus-shot-ridden arm (all on my left side)) for further details.


  1. so...many...jokes...must...stop...your...mom...

  2. But when you get that awesome scar, you will be able to tell anyone who asks what happened. And it doesn't really have to be true either.

    Sorry about your wound.

  3. sure nama. i believe you. i'm sure it was a stupid moment with an x-acto knife and NOT a result of your mom biting your finger in an attempt to steal away the twinkie that was in your hand... a likely story...

  4. The bad news is, your hand modeling career is over. The good news is, you can now convincingly pose as an ex-con, hooker with a heart of gold, or pirate. I'll let you decide which you want to be, but I'm sure with your brains and moxie, you'll probably find a way to combine the three and make it into a boffo Broadway production to boot.