Sunday, December 30, 2007

christmas in chicago

my first christmas away from home was...weird. it didn't feel like christmas, but spending it with my best friend, jessica, made it feel more like home. plus, chicago was pretty awesome! it was beautiful, enchanting, and i didn't get mugged! we went to chinatown, ate chicago deep dish pizza (not in china town) (mmm...1 inch of melted cheese...which promptly made me sick...soooooo good), went to the lincoln park zoo, and to the field museum and the art institute of chicago.

here are some pictures of a monkey, a roaring lion that would not be fun to cage fight, a mummy, and a moche pot.we lived, we ate, we traveled via bus, train, & taxi, and we lived to tell the tale. look at how contented jessica is!i hope everyone was/is having a wonderful holiday!

Monday, December 17, 2007

"as long as i know how to love, i know i will stay alive."

hmm...i should update this thing. but why? what has been going on in my life lately that warrants a blog post?


well, last weekend, i spent most of the weekend laying in the dark with a heated rice pad over my face. i hate migraines.

although, in those moments of doing nothing but zoning out and getting bored pretty easily, i turned on the discovery channel and watched a marathon of "man vs. wild," and, needless to say, i zoned out more.

but at the same time, i found myself feeling an odd mixture of awe, guilt, and "this is ridiculous!" if you've never watched the show, the "man," bear grylls (yes, his name is bear) jumps out of a plane or helicopter in some remote location, and he then spends the next day or two "surviving" in the "wild" location he has placed himself in. and shortly into this marathon, i started feeling this odd mixture in the following order:

1. awe
this man is climbing up sheer cliffs without equipment! he's eating bugs and snakes! he seems to know everything about the environment around him! wow!2. guilt
man, maybe i'll find myself lost in the middle of the saharah one day...or in the mangroves of panama. i should be taking notes: "eat the desert bugs for protein, don't be lulled into a false sense of security by all the water around you, it will kill you, and if caught in a sandstorm and a dead camel just so happens to be lying there, gut it, drink it's innards for water, and crawl inside." check.
3. "this is ridiculous!"
as i'm taking notes, "if caught in quicksand...try to pull your legs out...really hard..." hmm...riiiight. quite the tip there, bear. moving on, "assuming you survive the hundreds of miles of desert and reach the atlas mountains...climb over them." right, bear. i can climb over mountains like you. what the heck? i'll be sure to remember these essential tips when i'm dying in the saharah, because i go there so often. the three stages of bear. and the cycle continued. for hours. i couldn't tear myself away from bear! and the wild! so amazing! and so attractive...and hot...and he keeps taking his clothes off because it apparently helps him survive...must remember bear survival techniques! what the...come on, bear! you're insane! now, i don't know if this was the migraine, but i then came up with the idea of a bear catchphrase drinking game. or maybe bingo. yes...bear's lingo bingo. which would include the following phrases:
  • usually said when eating something disgusting "it's better than nothing!"
  • as he's scaling a mountain, or precariously working his way down the side of a waterfall "you've got to be reeeeally careful."
  • several bingo squares briefly describing the most common ways bear says you could die, including dehydration, parasites, insect/spider/snake bites, falling to your death, and dysentery.

i'm still working on that one. hopefully, there will be another "man vs. wild" marathon on soon. until then, i'm off to survive the rest of the holidays, which includes air travel (that little pillow they give you on the airplane might help your neck survive the tree even though it's tiny, but it's better than nothing), navigating the perilous streets of chicago (the rats might be a good source of protein, but i don't be fooled...they could give me the plague and i could die), and trying to finish my christmas shopping, which includes going to the mall (i've got to be reeeeeeally careful).

happy christmahanukwanzakah!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

"what do i care? i've got my love to keep me warm."

does anybody want to take a gander at how much i enjoyed the snow this weekend? well, i know i can be a winter grinch, as i hate being cold, but i loved the snow this weekend! it really felt like christmas, and it was so beautiful. i ran around a park sunday afternoon after the sun had come out and took some pictures of the snow with my early christmas present.also, ann-marie & i were in the city's politically-correct "winterfest" parade as elves. we were so cold all morning, but we had fun! happy winter! i hope all of you enjoyed the snow this weekend as much as i did.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Thursday, November 22, 2007

turkey for me, pictures for you

finally, i have pictures.

do you want to see? i bought a car! all on my own! i'm a grown up now! and it's so pretty. and, i must admit, it's an awesome and classy car. it's a 2005 honda civic hybrid. and i now have a level of independence i've never had living in provo! and i'm happy :) and i get 50 miles to the gallon. also happy :)

happy turkey day!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

"baby you can drive my car, yes i'm gonna be star"

i have big news!!!

but i'm waiting for appropriate pictures to post with my news.

stay tuned. more to come...

Monday, November 05, 2007

"on her 22nd birthday, she already is an old maid"

well, i am a few years past 22, quickly approaching the quarter of a century mark, but man i feel old. and here's why:

first, my knees, which have been scarred and shaped from my years of dancing, acting, and falling down a lot, have been causing me an unacceptable amount of pain over the last month. my joints and ligaments are all stiff, and i frequently sit in my living room with my running laptop sitting on top of my knees, the warm battery soothing my aching knees. (perhaps i should invest in a heating pad of some kind...) i feel like the scary old lady down the street who sits on her porch in a rickety rocking chair and announces to all walking by, "there's a big storm a-comin'! i can feel it in my knees!" yep. that's me. old.

second, my increasing habit of getting tired by 10:00 p.m. yes, i'm a big girl and have a big girl job that starts at 7:00 a.m., but come on! my circadian rhythm has never worked properly! i'm a night owl who can stay up until 2:00 a.m. or 3:00 a.m. easily, no matter what time i awoke that morning. i stayed awake for 36-ish hours straight when i flew to italy 2 and a half years ago and had absolutely no problem with jet lag. so, apparently later in life, it's starting to kick in. and it's making me lame. and old. case in point:

i was out friday night having a lovely dinner with some friends. it was nearly 10:00 p.m. when we left the restaurant, and everyone was planning on playing ping pong, pool, and foosball late into the night, like any sensible, young, and alive twentysomething would do on a friday night. me? i asked to be taken home. because i was tired. i laid down on my couch, turned on "what not to wear," and was gone by 11:00 p.m. i crawled upstairs and into bed and was fast asleep by midnight. yep! i'm officially lame now. and old.

third, well, there's no real third. unless you count the fact that i will, in fact, be 25 in 2 months. however, i know most of you have already hit that mark and will balk at my exclamation that 25 makes me old. even though it does.

ache ache

hmm...a storm's a-brewing...better bring an umbrella tomorrow.

Monday, October 22, 2007

everyone hail to the pumpkin king

i used to love fall before i moved to utah, where fall occurred on friday. and was quickly followed by snow on saturday and sunday. cursed weather!

but i still do love fall for one fantastic reason: HALLOWEEN!!

which brings me to a question that is, i'm sure, is on every respectable person's mind right now: what will i be for halloween?

this has turned into quite the dilemma for me this year, because, come on! check out my costumes over the past 3 years:

your mom...

modern fairy...


how awesome! and perhaps my creative halloween juice is dry right now, but how can i keep to this sensational tradition of halloween costumes i've set up for myself? all i got right now teacher? lame, lame, lame!

i'm at a loss. any ideas?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

laughing slapped his leg stale: amusements of the week, part 1

get fuzzy's vegetarian/global warming/carnivorous message/antics seen in last week's strips:the onion's new take on the crazy side of modern art:

conceptual terrorists encase sears tower in jell-o our "entertainment" at a ward activity planned by the guys for the girls in the ward, which included chauffeuring, cooking & serving dinner, and escorting us from our tables to the lady's room: all the men on the church stage singing "ye elders of israel" in a rip-roarious manner.

Monday, October 01, 2007

good days

of all the kinds of days i could be experiencing right now, i find that i can honestly say with a smile on my face that the last few days have been good ones. i've found myself not getting caught up in the worries that seem to plague my life at times, the uncertainties that i have a difficult time dealing with, the general questioning of why i have to go through this or that. instead, i feel at rest, a great sense of peace, that none of these questions and unknowns matter. what can i do about them? i don't seem to have much in the way of control, so why bother worrying, crying, or sulking? what good does that do? absolutely none.

paul talks about seeing the temporal things that are but for a moment in 2nd corinthians. this natural and mortal perspective we tend to have on our lifes, trying or wanting to only see what's coming up next, right around the corner, our motivation for moving foward at all. what about those times that seem to happen so often in your life when you have to take a step into the dark, not knowing or understanding what is to come? paul says that these things we don't see are eternal, the perspectives, connections, and reasons we either don't or cannot see that carry a far greater weight of glory than those temporary matters we tend to get ourselves caught up in.

i've been having good days. i've had moments of overwhelming, comforable peace that came suddenly and unexpected from the only, the one possible source where the heavy laden find their rest. who can worry and find themselves unhappy when He's here? "No harm can befall with my Comforter near."

i feel good, happy, settled, accepting, confident, and loved. "Oh, what shall I ask of thy providence more?"

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

"lay off me, i'm STARVING!"

too. much. food.

that's the atmosphere at work this week. fatness rolled in shame rolled in fat. and topped with bacon. if there's a meeting up in here, there will surely be food, and with 6 meetings over the course of 3 days, the shear amount of food showing up in this office is ridiculous.

pizza, soups & sandwiches, doughnuts, rock stars (yes the energy drink, and no i didn't have one), mexican food, cheesesteaks...all wrapped in bacon. and fat.

since when did it become expected from these people that if one of the big wigs calls a meeting, that means free food? you'd think the people i work with never get to eat outside of work! they rush up to the conference room 2 minutes before the meeting and start sloshing piles and piles of food onto their plates with no concern for (a) how much food is present or (b) how many people that amount is suppose to feed therefore leaving the few of us who actually have normal appetites/aren't seemingly homeless with the dregs of what was a whole pizza/box of doughnuts/pan of chimichangas. and then they come back for more. and are the first to complain that there "isn't enough" to feed them for the rest of the day/until the next meeting.

tiny tim: i'm on the free lunch program, lunch lady. may i please have a slice of cafeteria meat loaf?

lunch lady: sure, tiny. schlop here's an extra scoop of green beans, too.

t.t.: gee, thanks, lunch lady! you're the best!

l.l.: that's what we're here for tiny! wink

office newsflash: the big-wigs have let go of the free-meal program, which was actually never instated, but somehow started as a service to those who slave away all day for the man. starting next week, if there ever should be food in the office, those who are chosen to participate in the devouring of said food will do so gratefully, without complaint, and will not eat as if it is their last meal. no longer will i be allowed to play lunch lady to "starving" "students." i don't own a hairnet and do not have a bad case of the gout.

lunch lady nama, signing off to attend yet another meeting after which i will be traveling to rite aid to purchase a stomach pump (aisle 3) and a hairnet (aisle 5).

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

thus far, a rather uninspiring thing

i'm blank. and so is my creativity. and my life. thus, the lack of inspiration.

however, my blog does seem to inspire those googling the following items:

1. "if the sun wasn't three years from now"
2. "stupid blonde"
3. "sun's it girl"
4. "does the lama song ever end"
5. "my name is simon"
6. "mighty quinn's bbq"
7. "exant flourish"
8. "99% undatable"

i don't know if they found what they were looking for in my blog, but i will now attempt to "answer" their "requests."

1. the sun's here to stay, according to its wikipedia site. i don't know where you heard that the sun "wasn't" three years from now, but i believe your "source" was wrong.

2. blondes are not stupid across the board, although i question that stereotype when i see a flighty-looking blonde wearing a screen t-shirt that says, "i had a nightmare that i was a brunette." she just might be stupid.

3. i was not aware that the sun had an "it" girl! is she more along the lines of an heiress socialite who is famous for absolutely no reason or more along the cute-young-hip actress who either turns out to be quite talented and a respectable human being or a washed up alcoholic who thinks she's above the law. i think we should be able to tell based on whether or not this "it" girl believes in wearing proper undergarments.

4. last time i checked, it didn't. llama, llama, duck...

5. correction. my name is nama. but i do like to do drawrings...(thank you wikhow)

6. i don't do red meat. try google maps.

7. i believe the correct spelling is exeunt flourish (thanks, kat). and yes, i love that episode, too. "she is dead to me! spit"

8.'s sad, but true. i am only 1% datable. why? because i hate dating. it's lame. probably because i am. but i will stand by seinfeld's observation that only 4% to 6% of the population is good looking. and the percentage of really, really, ridiculously good looking people is even smaller. again, another reason i don't date.

accurate answers? yes. inspiring? probably not.

brought to you by (aka, only $19.95 and 7 days to change your life. (thanks jamie cullum)

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

tag team back again

wow. that was quite the 90s music flashback.

so, anne tagged me, and now i feel obligated, because she might make her mom sit on me if i don't follow through. but maybe if she did, and i was flattened, i could find willy wonka and use his taffy machine to flatten me out, and, in the process, i'd become much taller. and then i could reach tall things and see over heads of people instead of having to stare at everyone's neck/back/hiney when i'm in a crowd. hmmm...

but i, now, in no particular order, are ten fun nama facts that you might or might now know:

  1. i have several OCD tendencies when it comes to my habitual patterns; for example, my closet is color and style coded, my morning & nightly routine is an exact process with an exact order & i have everything i do timed, and most of my possessions have a home, somewhere it always goes and stays, and it never moves far or for too long from its home (one of the reasons i rarely lose things).

  2. i think i can honestly say that, since i started wearing makeup and caring about my face as a wee 12-ish-year-old, i have never gone to bed without washing my face (for possible reason, see item #1).

  3. as you may have noticed, i don't capitalize often on my blog. when i was a teenager, i started writing poetry, and, after doing a research report on ee cummings, was inspired by his style and only started capitalizing certain words in my poems, but mostly keeping everything lower case. now i don't write poetry anymore, and this blog has become my writing outlet; therefore, i kept with the tradition i started years ago inspired by and in tribute to ee cummings, arguably one of my favorite poets (others include t.s. eliot, langston hughes, & john keats).

  4. growing up, my list of future career aspirations at one time or another include the following: paleontologist, lawyer, actor/singer, pathologist, psychologist, anything involving forensics, paramedic, rainbow brite (give me a break, i was 5), a fairy (also at the age of 5), archaeologist, anthropologist, medical anthropologist, physician's assistant, ancient historian, and, most recently, physical anthropologist.

  5. i don't like most items that fall into the fruit category, but i do like just about every vegetable that i've had the chance to taste.

  6. i sang a lot growing up, and by my senior year in high school, that and theater was what i filled my extracurricular life with. during that time, i learned several tricks to help my voice when it was sick, tired, dry, etc. for a sick, sore, or gunky throat, lemon juice diluted with water or lemon tea with no sugar. it clears your throat up of anything that's stuck there & soothes any soreness that might hold you back. for a dry throat that water does not seem to quench, lays potato chips. just pop a few (and just a few or you'll end up gunky), and the oil will lubricate your cords just enough to allow for better clarity and ease in your voice.

  7. i once walked into a glass door. straight on. it was villa glass, so i was both surprised & grateful when it didn't shatter.

  8. i don't like living in basements. i feel too enclosed. you can't build basements in texas because of the soil, so i guess i've never gotten used to this foreign phenomenon of living underground. i prefer being on the top floor.

  9. i have 8 pillows. and i use most of those to encase myself in cocoon of pillows every night when i sleep.

  10. this last fun nama fact, i'm leaving up to you guys. share something that i/others may/not not know about me! but nothing gross. or embarrassing. or geeky. or anything that i told you in conjunction with the phrase, "i'm telling you this in confidence."

have at it! and to give you some inspiration, meet the simpsonized me:

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


word of the day: bacon
colored sharpie of the day: sky blue
drink of the day: water
hematocrit for the day: 36%
snack of the day: cheesecake
success of the day: finished 4 of the 10 things on my to-do list
annoyance of the day: sam's club trip
articles of the day: "City Councilman Unearths Magical Zoning Amulet" & "August: Let's get rid of it."
song of the day: "blue spruce" - bela fleck & edgar meyer
accessory of the day: clip to hold my "bangs" back
news story of the day: suicide bombing in iraq
enemy(s) of the day: city planner(s) & Realtors
necessity of the day: moisturizer
mood of the day: eh with a hint of blah
day dream of the day: hiking instead of working
areas to be cleaned today: oven & refrigerator
friend of the day: jessica
graceful moment of the day: hitting head on "oh crap!" handle in car
insult of the day: cram it with walnuts, ugly!
comic of the day:

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

life, we have a problem

i despise writing pleas-for-help blogs, but, nevertheless, i'm desperate...

after a recent turn of unexpected events, i am able to stay in my apartment that i've lived in for 2 years now! i'm very excited, because, among other reasons, i hate moving.

however, now i have a problem in the roommate department, that problem being that i don't have any. and because my apartment isn't student housing, there has to be 3 people living there.

and now my plea...

if any of you know of anybody who is looking for a place to live, please, please, please let me know. i trust (most) of your judgements and assume that you won't send me a crazy person who likes to party all night/steal/sacrifice chickens in the kitchen and is psychopathic/untrustworthy/as fat as your mom ('cause there's no way she'll fit in my hizzle).

i'd appreciate any help with this matter, especially as the contracts need to be signed and sent to my landlords next week (yikes!).


Thursday, August 02, 2007

i don't want to talk about it


remember when i said "tune in next week"...

well, instead of delving into the most lovely of lovely descriptions of my sometimes sad, often pity-able existence since then, i'll just do a quick re-cap...

  • harry potter. read & loved. and cried like a baby.
  • harry potter party. not really attended & crazies not observed (reasons for, see below)
  • chance meeting with a migraine from hell that lasted a good week.
  • roommates vacated apartment. now alone. so very alone.
  • watched 4-ish hours of "america's next top model" over the weekend.
  • possibly moving in 2 weeks. don't know where/if yet.
  • bought shirtdress for $22 on ebay thinking it might not look awkward on me.
  • it did.
  • em visited! met taquito/taco/chimichanga.
  • saw hairspray. haven't laughed that hard in a while.
  • made a cinnamon crumb cake. delicious.

i'll let you know if anything else exciting happens around here. if you need be, i'll be holding down the fort and watching filipino inmates serve time on youtube (thanks kat):

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

the harry potter chronicles: episode 1: harry potter & the time i re-read all 6 books, saw the 5th movie, and waited for friday night to come


seriously, these days it's all about harry potter. i know. i'm a geek. i started re-reading the books back in march or so (i, like kat, am a slow reader, as well, and no, i don't want to hear about how fast you can read) and, having successfully finished the 3rd book last week (i sort of read them of order), i'm all primed and ready for the 7th and final book to arrive saturday at midnight! and yes, i will be attending a midnight party, not because i really want to, but because i decided it would be a great way to get me out of my apartment during my sometimes long & presently sad & lonely weekends. and i'm sure there will be stories to tell. i worked at borders when both the 5th and the 6th books came out, and lemme tell ya about the crazies i encountered during the release parties. just sit & watch the crazies come out, and stories galore.

so. the 5th movie. i thought it was very well done, considering that harry potter & the order of the phoenix is the longest, most involved & character driven book. i felt (mostly) very satisfied with how the movie flowed despite the obvious fact that parts of the book were taken out and/or changed, and the little actors, who we have now been watching as harry, hermione, ron & the rest of the hogwarts gang for 7 years, are growing and simply blossoming into their roles and are terrific to behold! they are also growing up very nicely, which i found visually enjoyable while, at the same time, feeling horribly wrong that i found 17-year old daniel radcliffe attractive. anywho, overall, a great movie. the fight between dumbledore & voldemort at the end? incredible! imelda staunton's portrayal of dolores umbridge? incredible & practically perfect in every way. except she doesn't look like a toad. she's hateable and simply evil in the most foulest ways that you just can't stand her! but find her oddly intriguing and delectable as a villain at the same time. cheers to j.k. rowling for writing such a brilliant villain!


first, the way sirius dies...umm, what the killing curse? that's taking a whole lot of liberty where liberty shouldn't be taken, in my opinion. you might remember sirius-dying from such times as when bellatrix hits him with a curse of some sorts (the book doesn't say), and how he then stumbles and falls back into the arch door way thinger. never does bellatrix avada kedavra sirius, and even if she did, he wouldn't have died the way he did! hello, the killing is called so because it, you know, kills kills you. one avada kedavra, and fllpbt. your dead. immediately. i hope jo rowling didn't like this either. seriously. when a main character dies, you gotta do that right in the movie. it was okay that they changed other minor plot points during the course of the film, but sirius dying? yeah, much more prominent in teh plot. get it right, film makers.

also, speaking of taking liberties, harry is never "possessed" by voldemort, as they portrayed in the end. voldemort briefly gets inside his head, as he has done throughout the book, but we're not talking about a full on exorcism-esque possession like they portrayed in the film, none of this "come back, harry. choose to be good" pep talk from dumbledore. it never happens in the book as harry falls into a epileptic conniption, his eyes looking all creepy and possessed-like. never happens. that's taking far too much liberty with that plot point, i thought. it's made very clear in the book that harry is not being possessed by voldemort, that voldemort's simply using that connection between them to get into his mind and vice versa, but not in a head-spinning, vomiting bile, "i-need-an-old-priest-and-a-young-priest" kind of way. too dark for what actually happens in the book. bleh. get that right, too.

and, finally, remember how dumbledore sits harry down at the end of the book and tells him everything that he's been keeping from him for the past 5 years? it's excellent! so many questions are answered, events explained, and harry leaves feeling the weight of all of it, but feeling empowered. great scene! funny how it lasted a minute & a half in the movie, and basically consisted of harry asking dumbledore to clarify the final part of the prophecy. yes, in the end, either harry or voldemort cannot exist together, and one must kill the other, however it goes down. the end...what?! what about all that rich & complete explanation about the power that harry possesses that voldemort lacks, about how voldemort chose harry to be his enemy, and, man, i could go on and on?! the movie was barely over 2 hours, shorter than the other 4. i know you could have spared another 5 to 10 minutes or so for some great, raw pieces of information that are quite vital to the series. idiots. i was on the verge of pretty much loving the movie up until that point, and then it was all "waaah-waaah", and i left very dissatisfied.

and i'll say it again: get it right! i'm not asking for every single thing in the book to be morphed into movie magic. just get the very important plot points and events right. that's all i'm asking.


i'm done. i promise.

but tune in next week when i'll chronicle my friday night adventures at the borders' harry potter party. it might be geeky or scary, but i promise it will be entertaining.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

more selections

song of heartache

eric clapton - "broken hearted"

when the wind blows down this hard
many a bond is broken
see the water lie on the ground
from where the heavens opened

Lord, how will you get through this night
with your dreams departed?
and who alone will comfort you?
only the broken hearted

so youve gone beyond your means
every wound is open
your best laid plans are out of reach
and all your fears unspoken

Lord, how will you get through this night
with your dreams departed?
and who alone will comfort you?
only the broken hearted

Sweet revenge is spoken then
in the twilight it is gone
to living lies with no escape
Lord, I would rather be alone

i press my fingers to the wood
to tell you of my dreaming
to sing you songs from olden times
to keep the love light gleaming
'cause theres a place where we can go
where we will not be parted

and who alone will enter there?
only the broken hearted
only the broken, broken hearted

song of uncertainty

dave matthew band - "the space between"

you cannot quit me so quickly
there's no hope in you for me
no corner you could squeeze me
but i got all the time for you, love

the space between the tears we cry
is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
the space between the wicked lies we tell
and hope to keep safe from the pain
but will i hold you again?

these fickle, fuddled words confuse me
like 'will it rain today?'
waste the hours with talking, talking
these twisted games we're playing
we're strange allies with warring hearts
what wild-eyed beast you be

the space between the wicked lies we tell
and hope to keep safe from the pain
will i hold you again?
will i hold

look at us spinning out in the madness of a roller coaster
you know you went off like a devil in a church in the middle of a crowded room
all we can do, my love is hope we don't take this ship down

the space between where you're smiling high
is where you'll find me if i get to go
the space between the bullets in our firefight
is where i'll be hiding, waiting for you
the rain that falls splash in your heart
ran like sadness down the window into
the space between our wicked lies
is where we hope to keep safe from pain

take my hand 'cause we're walking out of here
oh, right out of here
love is all we need here
the space between what's wrong and right
is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
the space between your heart and mine
is the space we'll fill with time
the space between

song of hope

chris thile - "on ice"

just for a moment, the moment i met her
i lost my breath but my lips whispered she is the one
forgot who i was and who i was fooling
didn't remember she could be my first cue to run

we move so fast
never thought twice
mine came at last
fool on some ice

we stayed in touch but the touch i was wanting from her
came from girls that scared me too little to love
so all of the thoughts i thought i might tell her
turned into songs that until now she's never heard of

i have been taught
love is a vice
soak all these thoughts
and i put them on ice

the vice spins and the ice tends to melt
one night she asked me how i felt
the next day i woke up lying to myself
i feel fine
i feel fine
i feel fine

thank God you're here
i need you to hear this
so sick of my shit
i promise i'm through tempting fate
i know i'm in love now
you are what love is to me
please tell me this isn't too little too late

oh let's move fast
making up time would be nice
i'm so sorry i put these things on ice
i would like to give you doves and rice

Monday, July 09, 2007

a few possible selections from the soundtrack of my life

song of desperation

norah jones - "be my somebody"

i'm too foggy today to know what you're sayin'
your lips are moving so fast and i just keep praying
for them to slow down so i can make some sense
of the words that are pouring out of your crooked spout

last night was a record to be broken
it broke all over the kitchen floor
oh no, don't you go
i'm coming back with a rag
to wipe away the haze from the days we've forgotten all about

so be my somebody tonight
be the one who'll hold me tight
honey, please, please
'cause i've been so all alone and no one will pick up the phone
so honey, please stay

i held your head up, do you remember?
when you wanted to make a blanket out of me
oh i can't lie
i've been keeping score
and it's your turn to wring me out and lay me down to dry

so be my somebody tonight
be the one who'll hold me tight
honey, please, please
'cause i've been so all alone and no one will pick up the phone
so honey, please stay
honey, please stay
honey, please stay

song of truth

jamie cullum - "catch the sun"

every day it comes to this
catch the things you might have missed
you say, get back to yesterday
i ain't ever going back, back to the place that I can't stand
but i miss the way you lie
i'm always misunderstood, pulled apart and ripped in two
but i miss the way you lie

catch the sun, before it's gone
here it comes, up in smoke and gone
catch the sun, it never comes
cry in the sand, lost in the fire

i never really understood why i didn't feel so good
but i miss the way you lie
i've always been up and down, never wanted to hit the ground
but i miss the way you lie

catch the sun, before it's gone
here it comes, up in smoke and gone
catch the sun, it never comes
cry in the sand, lost in the fire

song of comfort

paul mccartney - "little willow"

bend, little willow
wind's gonna blow you hard and cold tonight
life, as it happens nobody warns you
willow, hold on tight

nothing's gonna shake your love
take your love away
no one's out to break your heart
it only seems that way

sleep, little willow
peace gonna follow
time will heal your wounds
grow to the heavens now and forever
always came too soon

little willow
nothing's gonna shake your love
take your love away
no one's out to break your heart
it only seems that way

bend, little willow
wind's gonna blow you hard and cold tonight
life, as it happens nobody warns you
willow, hold on tight
little willow

Thursday, June 21, 2007

it's sucking my will to live!

i love the dry heat of utah. i love being able to walk outside at 8 a.m. & not be drenched with sticky sweat. i love that if the temperature gauge says 95 degrees, it's 95 degrees. and i especially loves these things after the abnormally long winter that kept dragging on and on for what seemed like months and months. i hate winter(as you may recall). i love summer. i hate being cold. i love being warm/hot.

summer, i welcome thee.

however, my body doth not welcome thee. my body is angry. and hates you. the dry heat of a wonderfully enjoyable utah summer has just about sucked me dry. literally. i doubt there is much moisture left in me to sustain me for much longer. the minute i put in eye drops into my itching, dry eyes, or squirt moisturizing saline nasal mist into my barrenly dry nasal passages & sinuses, or down a 16 oz. bottle of water into my scratching dry throat, or plaster oil of olay moisturizer onto my flaking face or johnson & johnson baby lotion all over my scaly skin, all that added moisture leaves my body. i'm not sure in what form, but believe me, it doesn't stop my eyes from irritating me, my sinuses from hurting & my nose bleeding, my throat from refusing to stay well lubricated, or my face from flaking off & my skin from itchingitchingitching with dryness. i just was some moisture!!!

but not too much. thankfully, an acceptable & inviting solution has presented itself.

if you need me this weekend, you shall not find me here wasting/flaking away in the dryness of utah, but shall find me in dallas, texas, my home of homes, sweating and feeling ridiculously sticky in the wetness of the humidity, but finally being in a place that allows its moisture to soak into my body and stay there.


and when i'm sick of the sweating & stickiness & no longer feel dry, i'll come back. and try not to let the dryness suck out all of the moisture texas so lovingly spared for me. perhaps i will bottle some. maybe even sell it, as i assume there are others like me out there suffering needlessly in the dryness of dry.