Tuesday, December 19, 2006

when will the lambs stop screaming?

as i sit here at my desk and look up at my silver tinseled stree decorated with tiny santa clauses and mrs. clauses, i feel like vomiting. not because christmas has already grown vomitess*, but because my stomach is angry at me. aaaaaaangry.

i know i fed it too much cheesed-filled tortellini drizzled with parmesan cheese last night. but wait...do i have a fever? *feels head with glove covered hand* huh. now remind me again why i came into work today? they pretend like they need me here, like the balance of the whole universe depends on my completion of such daily tasks as "update CRC agenda" and "dist DRC ROAs." maybe it does? or maybe that's just my angry stomach talking. or gurgling, to be more exact.

mr. sprite, you are my biggest fan. and don't think i forgot about you, mr. saltine crackers. i'd surely be incomplete without you. but you, mr. suppose-to-make-my-stomach-feel-better medicine. i'm not so sure about granting such compliments upon your white caplet. my stomach's aaaaaangry, and you have yet to talk some sense into it.

it's so cold. so...very cold.

*i know this is not the correct spelling, but when you're feverish, this is how that words comes out.

5 comments:

  1. I believe the corect spelling would be vomitous, which is what I will feel like should you start talking like Hannibal lector.

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  2. how can you expect her to worry about corect spelling when she's in such turmoil?
    don't worry, my little vomittess, sprite will calm the lambs down.

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  3. Vomitous is an adjective, vomitus is a noun, and I believe vomitess would be an archaic term for a female vomiter. And THAT is what you do with a B.A. in English.

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  4. Wait, isn't correct spelled with 2 r's?

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