Thursday, September 14, 2006

what the dove?

i love chocolate. this should come as no surprise to any of you.

i particulary love dark chocolate. as it turns out, i prefer my chocolate like i prefer my men - dark, strong, and bitter.

my favorite chocolate has, of late, become dove's new rich dark chocolate. it's, in a word, divine. it has become my new addiction. i must have it. at least once a day. sometimes fifty. last week, i went running for some "exercise", and wound up running to the store to buy a bag of dove chocolates. believe me, it was well worth it.

i, however, have to put up with the stupid sayings printed on the indiviudal aluminum wrappers that were obviously created by a gaggle of oprah-watching, sex-deprived, cheesy-romance-reading, middle-age women. they are beyond annoying and cheesy. and i hate them.

so you can only imagine my surprise and anticipation when i discovered that dove has new pearls of wisdom in leafy fall packaging out in stores for the season. oh what joy. i found that some of the wrappers contained the same, unbearable cheesiness that i have grown accustomed to. a-like so...

“temptation is fun...giving in is better."
“be the change you hope to see."
“find your passion."
“whisper in the dark."
“count the stars."


but i also found, to my utter gag-relfex-ness, the following fall-themed/these-women-watch-"the view"-too-much creations...

“life is a painting, cover the entire canvas."
“take yourself and a book out to lunch."
“sit around a bonfire and watch the stars."
“read a book under the autumn trees."
“get lost walking in a corn maze."
“press your favorite leaves inside a book."


come on, dove! you can do so much better. shoot, just hire the people in my current blogosphere. i know we can all come up with better sayings that these. and while you are all coming up with new dove fortunes, my blog really needs a new name. and i got nothing. help?

4 comments:

  1. how about, "take a quiet moment to feel your posterior expand"

    ReplyDelete
  2. "eat it, don't read it" ?

    potential blog title: nama-rant-a-rama

    ReplyDelete
  3. candy wrappers:
    "the tree never falls far from the nuts."
    "out eat your mom. ready, go!"
    "your mom isn't here to say 'gimme that'(chomp)"
    "and this one is for all the people who said you couldn't do it"
    "help keep our dentists in business"
    "who's a little piggy? who's a little piggy?"

    blog titles:
    "how many 'namas' are on this thing?"
    "i found a 'B' battery!"
    "mmmm, muffins"
    "absoludicrous"

    ReplyDelete
  4. the dove promise that i got today:
    "watch the harvest moon rise"
    now that's some good advice, but then what do i do after it has risen? howl at it?

    ReplyDelete