Thursday, June 08, 2006

return of the heckler

i watched "lord of the rings: return of the king" last night. i wasn't sure if i'd be able to make it through the whole thing in one sitting...but i did! and i remembered why at the end of that very long 3 & a half hour block...because i LOVE that movie! mostly because of the memories that are associated with it. let me explain...

exhibit 'a'
december 2003, wednesday of finals week. opening night.
a gaggle of 2nd warders purchased tickets to see "return of the king", and we arrived at least a couple of hours early to stand in line outside the theatre. there were about 20ish of us. when he finally got into the theatre, everyone decided it was time to potty, get food, etc and left 3 of us there so save 20ish seats. and i was one of them. i remember sprawling my 5'4 frame across an entire row of seats and giving people "the crazy eye" when they walked by trying to find seats. "these are taken!! grrrrr." when the previews started, a teaser trailer for the second mask movie was shown, and in that stunned silence after the preview, somebody a few rows back said, "i smell on oscar!" i died. we died. it was hilarious. oh, and the movie was great, too.

exhibit 'b'
may 2004, relief society presidency retreat, caroline's grandparent's basement.

caroline, camille, em, & i rented "return of the king", bought tons of junk food, and drove up to her grandparent's house to "bond". the entire 3 and a half hours, we did nothing but heckle and laugh at the movie. case in point:

*during the scene where the orcs storm the bridge into gondor, there's an orc in the background that dances, yes dances, across screen. i don't remember who noticed him, but we rewound it at least 10 times to watch the dancing orc prance around. and we died.
during the seiging of minas tirith, the orcs and their huge troll are banging on the door to the next level trying to break through while the gondorian soldiers wait on the other side. when the shot pans to the orcs banging at the door, em said, "knock knock. who's there? orc! orc who? orc'nt you glad you got that door there." hilarious.

*legolas is so great and entertaining in this movie! the scene where he takes down the elephant one-handed was always my favorite. the best part is the look on his face after he slides down the elephant's trunk. it says to me, "huh. that was cool." it's classic. another moment is when the men are discussing how to further help frodo and sam now that they've crossed into mordor. aragorn's plan to is draw the army of sauron out of mordor to clear the way for the hobbits, and as they discuss this plan, legolas all of a sudden pipes up and says dramatically, "a diversion!" yeah, thanks elf man for getting us all caught up.

*and of course, the never-ending ending. all right peter jackson, a movie should end when you fade to black the FIRST time, not the 45TH. frodo & sam destroyed the ring. now they're on a rock surrounded by lava. fade. gandalf & the eagles save them and they reunite with their friends. fade. aragorn is king, bow to the hobbits. fade. we're back in the shire and life is good. fade. goodbye bilbo and frodo. fade. sam's home again. fade. seriously. this multiple ending takes up half the movie. annoying, but always entertaining in the end. because then you can choose your own ending! and then just turn the movie off feeling satisfied.


in conclusion, good movie. good times. good 3 and half hours of my life wasted. aww the life of a college graduate.


  1. I LOVE that movie, too. The only thing is in the theater and you're waiting for the ending. Queue ending. It's over...not satisfied but I can get up for bathroom break...wait. Not over. Queue ending #2. Aragorn and Arwen have a mad-hot kiss. Well, okay. Fade out to a map. Hmm. Creative. Not unlike Harry Potter #3's Marauder's Map. Wait... here's Bilbo as an old geezer. Time has ravished his once youthful looks. Okay the elves are on board. Look at the pretty cgi painting. Aw. General euphoria. Imminent potty break. Wait... here's Sam. And a trailer for LOTR 4.

    But yes, good investment of 3+ hours. Jon and I watched it half-way through waaay back in January. Almost as good a three hours as General Conference.

    Wait. *looks around*. I didn't mean that.

    *Pops in General Conference DVD and watches commentaries and deleted scenes.*

  2. oh goodness, brit. you crack me up!


    i think people at work are staring...

  3. I hate the scene where the elephants die. Because elephants are my favorite animal. And elephant was one of the first words I learned in Gaelic. It's spelled "eilifint" and pronounced elephant. You like that?

  4. Why don't you blog about boys?