Saturday, December 30, 2006

2006 in review: the year of the shoulder

is 2006 really over? does that mean that this decade is nearly over? holy out-with-the-old-in-with-the-new!!

to recover from this shock, i will now present to you, dear readers, namabanana's

stuff that happened in 2006

i suggest you do the same to ease any pain you may be encountering, as opposed to singing "auld lang syne" (the only time that helps is if you just so happen to be in a jimmy stewart movie holding little lulu and suddenly realizing that your life is, in fact, wonderful.). it's quite simple, really. first, steal this idea from your best friend. second, open up your first blog written in each of the past 12 months. third, post the first line from said blog. fourth, you now have your very own blog-in-review for 2006! and now...

stuff that happened in 2006

january: and now we interrupt your regularly scheduled blogging for a plea:

february: and now for something completely different...the llama song.

march: happy 1 year and 1 month blogaversary namabanana!

april: remember last year when i started counting down the number of days until i left for italy?

may: i have a japanese woodblock calendar.

june: this one time...a boy called to ask me out.

july: i think america pretty much had the best birthday ever yesterday (at least in my book).


september: i almost got myself killed the other day.

october: just two thoughts:

november: i'm gonna take my broom and sweep all of the dirt out on the street

december: World AIDS Day is today.


huh. that wasn't as exciting as i thought it'd be. eh, whatev. was your year? (it has honestly got to be more spectacular than mine...seriously.)

Thursday, December 28, 2006

no one i think is in my tree

while i was at home over christmas (yes, i finally did make it home...), i listened to the newly re-mixed beatles' album, "love," which my dad had downloaded on his i-pod, and all i can say martin, you are a genius! this album is amazing. and i don't want to go on and on about it, but my favorite mix is ringo's "octupus's garden" sung to the music of "good night." if you happen to be a huge beatles fan like myself, listen to/go ahead and pick up this album. you will not be disappointed. point that i was getting i listened to the album, i was reminded of how much i love george harrison's "something" from abbey road. in my hopelessly romantic mind, i simply want to meet someone who will see that unexplainable something in me and isn't scared of finding it, someone who will muddle through this crazy thing called love with me, as unsure and uncertain as it can be, knowing that i see that something in him, too, that he deserves to be loved, that i need him and him alone. he'll see something in me he needs and cannot live without; he won't try to explain it, he'll just know. something will be there, and we will both just know.


eh, or maybe i'll just move to new york city with kat and into the next phase of our single lives, celibate in the city.


something in the way she moves attracts me like no other lover
something in the way she woos me
i don't want to leave her now
you know i believe and how

somewhere in the smile she knows that i don't need no other lover
something in her style that shows me
i don't want to leave her now
you know i believe and how

you're asking me will my love grow
i don't know, i don't know
you stick around and it may show
i don't know, i don't know

something in the way she knows and all i have to do is think of her
something in the things she shows me
i don't want to leave her now
you know i believe and how

Thursday, December 21, 2006

your call in very unportant to us...

do do do do do dooo dooo do do do do do

thank you for holding...

do do do do do dooo dooo do do do do do

...we apologize for the delay. the next available representative will assist you as soon as possible. we look forward to your call.

do do do do do dooo dooo do do do do do


this is what i've been listening to for just over an hour and a half. due to 9th-circle-of-hell-like conditions in denver, i'm currently on hold trying to find out if a) there's anyway for me to get home tomorrow without having to go through denver, where my current travel itinerary states i should be heading at 7:30 am tomorrow to hop on a connecting flight home, or if b) i'm pretty much screwed. if you see pictures of me half-asleep with a dangle of drool dripping from my half-opened mouth in the denver airport on cnn tomorrow, you'll know that i received the less optimal option of 'b' from this so-called “representative,” who i keep hearing about, but still only hear...

do do do do do dooo dooo do do do do do...

1 hour and 50 minutes and counting...

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

when will the lambs stop screaming?

as i sit here at my desk and look up at my silver tinseled stree decorated with tiny santa clauses and mrs. clauses, i feel like vomiting. not because christmas has already grown vomitess*, but because my stomach is angry at me. aaaaaaangry.

i know i fed it too much cheesed-filled tortellini drizzled with parmesan cheese last night. but i have a fever? *feels head with glove covered hand* huh. now remind me again why i came into work today? they pretend like they need me here, like the balance of the whole universe depends on my completion of such daily tasks as "update CRC agenda" and "dist DRC ROAs." maybe it does? or maybe that's just my angry stomach talking. or gurgling, to be more exact.

mr. sprite, you are my biggest fan. and don't think i forgot about you, mr. saltine crackers. i'd surely be incomplete without you. but you, mr. suppose-to-make-my-stomach-feel-better medicine. i'm not so sure about granting such compliments upon your white caplet. my stomach's aaaaaangry, and you have yet to talk some sense into it.

it's so cold. so...very cold.

*i know this is not the correct spelling, but when you're feverish, this is how that words comes out.

Monday, December 11, 2006

i wanna rock & roll all night

it's finally happening...that dreaded time of year that sneaks up on me every year. i can sense it now, lurking around a dark and foreboding corner like...something that lurks...

and it'll hit me in one month...

my birthday. and i'll be 24.

hmmm...that doesn't sit well with me.

i starting to feel so...old...too old know, do those things that the youngsters do, like get hyped up on jazz & goofballs. indeed, those were the days.

and i'm definitely too old to rock out like my 2-year-old nephew. rock on, little bro. rock on.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

o, tannenbaum

growing up, we always had a real christmas tree. every year, we'd go to our friend's christmas tree lot, pick out out tree, bring it home, and proceed to decorate it with strings of multi-colored christmas lights and dozens of hand crafted ornaments.

and when i say "hand crafted", i'm talking about the apples or laminated pieces of construction paper with your school picture on it, or a popsicle reindeer, or any other varied assortment of creations we brought home from school that my mom had collected over the years. it was tradition, it was family, it was wonderful. it wasn't until many years later when most of the kids were out of the house that my parents finally bought (gasp!) a fake tree, real ornaments, and only white christmas lights. i still, however, miss the real christmas tree-ness of christmas. i've always planned on buying real trees when i have a family of my own someday...

until now...

we got on email from the fire marshall today at work with the following video attached...

holy tannenbaum! you see that poor little stuffed bunny? that could have been me! or the family cat.

well, there goes christmas.

Friday, December 01, 2006

is it december already?

World AIDS Day

Support World AIDS Day

is today. do your part to help fight the spread of HIV/AIDS; get educated, stay informed, and share that with others. check out the website to find ways you can help.

unrelated note/plug/christmas-related-annoucement

remember ann-marie's elfish appearance last year? well, saturday morning, as she has already informed you, she gets be an elf all over again and i get to join her!
that's right, my friends. i, too, will be an elf (sort of) this saturday morning (tomorrow) at 10 a.m. on center street in provo city's politically-correct-non-denominational parade, so aptly named "winterfest". it runs from 500 west to 100 west and then loops around. check out all the info from the link provide and come out and support both ann-marie and i! yeay!!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

gobble gobble

so what, you may ask, does a lonely vegetarian do in provo on thanksgiving?

well...i will tell you.

invited friends kat & autumn to nama's apartment to celebrate.
made lots of good meatless food.
ate until we died.
watched thanksgiving/christmas "will & grace" episodes.
slept happily through the night.

well...that's all.

WAIT...did she say meatless thanksgiving food? isn't that illegal in america? how did she achieve such an impossibly feat-ed feast? is goes:

nama made vegetable stuffing that included yellow squash, celery, carrots, onions, zucchini, spinach (which was promptly replaced with romaine lettuce because target apparently thinks spinach is still e-coli-ridden (now that's what i call communism)), various spices (tarragon, basil, thyme, sage, chives, salt, & pepper), and store bought bread crumbs (which are located on aisle 2, on your right, about yea high, according to "go-to man" who works at target).
nama also made baked macaroni.
autumn made butter squash cheese ravioli soup that had the butter squash, onions, cinnamon-y spices, cream, and was to die for.
kat brought cookies...which were also good. chocolate chip & dark chocolate chunk chocolaty goodness. perfect!
and we drank strawberry-pomegranate italian soda.

that's how you pull off a small, vegetarian thanksgiving, my friends...without the gobblings. even though my dad did say that vegetarian turkeys were available for me alongside the regular turkeys. yep! these turkeys were fed only vegetables. (thanks, dad.)
so i hope everybody's turkey day was as grand as mine, that you still feel full, but are still gorging yourself on left-overs like me, and that you are all excited as i am about this christmas season! ho ho ho!

Monday, November 20, 2006

i almost diiiied

near-death experience of the month

fellow secretary karen & i went out early this afternoon to do some christmas shopping for our department. ya know, candy apples, cute christmas cards with snowmen & snow globes, etc.

upon our return as we climbed the stairs back up to the office, i heard a crash...then a horror-movie scream...

i instrinctively ducked and ran for cover (good thing)...and let out a good scream, too. i turned around and found that the huge plastic light cover on the ceiling had hinged, yes hinged, off and was dangling at about the level of my head. rewind & replay:

crashing sound = light cover unhinging where no hinge exists
scream = karen fearing for my life
my cat-like reflexes = me avoiding an early death/living the rest of my life with a mangled face.

that thing was seriously this close to hitting my head:whew...another day, another lucky chance.

Friday, November 17, 2006

i double-dog dare you

thanks lincoln-by-way-of-kat for providing me with a spark of inspiration.

and, speaking of inspiration: for many of my teenage years, my best friend & i kept track of the first song we heard at the beginning of each new year. one year, it was "bohemian rhapsody" (sweet!), but one year, my 14th year, when i attended my first youth dance on new year's eve (even though i was only 13, but, because i would be 14 in a week, my dad let me go), the "dj" chose to play which horribly unfit slow song as the clock struck midnight? chicago's "you're the inspiration."

(so...i tried to post this video from youtube, but youtube's decided to be stupid today and not "recognize" my go here, and watch.)

kat, this one's for you. you are and have always been the punk rocker of my dreams.


I'm short: true
I have scars: true
I tan easily: false
I burn easily: sadly true
I wish my hair was a different color: false
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color: false
I wear glasses or contacts: true...and, yes, i have HUGE PUPILS! (thanks, dr. eye doctor, for pointing that out to me today. now, i can live a full life of self-consciousness.)
I'm legally blind without them: false
I have 5 or more piercing: false
I have/had piercing in places besides my ears: false

I miss someone right now: ...i don't want to talk about it...

I've gotten divorced: false
I've had a crush on a teacher: awkwardly true
I've hugged a stranger: true
I like my bubble: true/false


I've laughed so hard I've cried: true
I've glued my hand to something: false (although my memory of kindergarten is pretty hazy.)
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose: hmm...don't know for sure...

I've had my pants rip/drop in public: false, thus far. (knock on wood)
I was born with a disease/impairment: true, if you count my ABNORMALLY LARGE PUPILS...
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend: true
I've had my wisdom teeth removed: false
I've had a serious surgery: false
I've had chicken pox: true

I've gotten lost in a city: true
I've seen a shooting star: true
I've wished on a shooting star: probably...stupid star...who do you think you are?
I've gone out in public in my pajamas: true
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator: true
I've been to a casino: false, unless you count the Las Vegas airport
I've been skydiving: false
I've played spin the bottle: false
I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour: false...and i don't even want to think about it
I've been in a car crash: true
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue: true
I've sat on a roof top at night: true
I've played chicken: false
I've played a prank on someone: true!!
I've ridden in a taxi: false
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show: true...hehe...
I've eaten Sushi: ew. false.

I own something from Hot Topic: err...true...
I own something I got on E-Bay: false
I own something from Abercrombie: am i a half-naked, scantily-clad young-ish model? no.
I own something from American Eagle: false
I own something from Anchor Blue: false

More Random:
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant: false (i have stolen a centerpiece, however...)
I watch the news: false...i read the news
I curse regularly: false
I sing in the shower: true
I'm a morning person: ha! as false as false can be.
I have listened to more than 30 CD's in a day: huh. maybe?
I've worn pajamas to school: true
I know how to shoot a gun: false
I laugh at my own jokes: true
I am really ticklish: very true.
I play video games: false
I'm good at remembering names: false; faces? true.

and now it's your turn! post this on your blog...i double-dog dare you! and link it to my comments!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

the times...they are indeed a-changin'

Well, John the Baptist after torturing a thief
Looks up at his hero the Commander-in-Chief
Saying, "Tell me great hero, but please make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?"

The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly
Saying, "Death to all those who would whimper and cry"
And dropping a bar bell he points to the sky
Saying, "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken"

Mama's in the fact'ry
She ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley
He's lookin' for food
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues


above is the verse from bob dylan's "tombstone blues" that i took my last blog title from. and, as you can see, i did a little switching around of my blog, and, with my new beta-googlized creation, i thought namabanana needed a new name. so i did some searching and, sticking with tradition, found the above dylan lyric. and to any of you who know the reference (and that doesn't include you, jess) i will award you handsomely with...

*sound the trumpets*
a herring! "i caught you a delicious herring"
ew, just kidding. what you'll really get is...
*exant flourish*

a life-size cardboard cut-out of Walter Wintchell! and to anybody who gets that reference...i will marry, no questions asked, on the spot. man, women, old, young...

ew. never mind.

instead, you may be treated to a flinestone push-up ice cream treat!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

election day

i think we can all now breath a sigh of relief and call this election year a success.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

'cause i'm a good house keeper

i'm gonna take my broom and sweep all of the dirt out on the street
i'm cleaning out my whole house fast as i can
it's time to make everything spick and span


so what does one do on a lonley saturday night, you might ask?

clean her room.

and shamelessly watch "dallas cowboy cheerleaders: making the team". but we're not going to talk about that right now.

so, the room. well, to put it lightly, my room had taken on my "emotional baggage". literally. it had slowly but surely, over the past month or so, started to reflect my emotional/mental/crazy state, and lemme tell ya. it. was. a mess. but now, it's beautifully clean. like, mr. clean clean.

except for my bed. which i never make. but we're not going to talk about that one either.

i then spent the rest of my lonely night sitting back and enjoying my organizational skills and wondering where they had been all this time. i even hung all my necklaces on the wall over my dresser with nails. it's decorative and functional. i'm a genius!

except for that part where i totally stole the idea from a friend. but let's not talk about that.

so, in conclusion. clean room. better life. something fixed. still hanging on for dear life.


you've been hidding your little dirt all over this here place, i know you have
here's my chance baby to throw some mud in your face
'cause i'm a good house keeper
i'm gonna take my broom and sweep all the dirt out on the street
you're a dirty, dirty man
& i'm done with your dirty ways

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

this is halloween! HALLOWEEN! HALLOWEEN!

"in this town we call home, everyone hale to the pumpkin song..."

...and please welcome...the UN, consisting of the following nations:
Narnia, Mozambique, Neverland, the United States, Greece, & India.

and that's me, in the green, with snakes in her hair as Medusa in all her glory, chasing men away with her stare. i even went to the movies & saw "Nightmare Before Christmas" looking like this. and while my hair looked wicked, as of today, i am still scratching green out of my scalp. but even so, halloween still kicked trash, and tonight, i'll hopefully find jack skellington singing on a curled-up hill in the moonlight. but...until then... "i am the shadow in the moonlit night filling your dreams to brim with fright!"

Friday, October 20, 2006

song #1 on my break-up cd

I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies, you're so self satisfied
I dont need you

Ive got to break free
God knows
God knows I want to break free

I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know its for real
I've fallen in love yeah
God knows
God knows I've fallen in love

It's strange but its true
I cant get over the way you love me like you do
But I have to be sure when I walk out that door
Oh how I want to be free baby
Oh how I want to be free
Oh how I want to break free

But life still goes on
I can't get used to living without living without living without you by my side
I dont want to live alone hey
God knows got to make it on my own
So baby can't you see
I've got to break free
I've got to break free
I want to break free yeah
I want I want I want I want to break free....

you sing it bridget...

Saturday, October 07, 2006

you say you want a revolution?

i discovered something AMAZING this week.

girls, do you suffer from Bushy-Viking Eyebrow Syndrome? do you find yourself staring into the mirror with a pair of tweezers in your hand and feeling utterly hopeless? and then call you mom ask her why she had to be of nordic desent and curse you with such an unruly unibrow that you've had to pluck ruthlessly into two separate entities since the age of 10?

girls, i feel your pain. you do not suffer from the dreaded BVEbS alone. it is real, awful, and can be tamed with a decent pair of tweezers.

behold, the tweezers to solve all of your tweezing needs! pictured are salon plus tweezers to be found at your local rite aid store. and for just $4.99 ladies, you can tame those uncooperative slabs of genetic freakness on your face! trust me. the first time i used these puppies, i felt as if had never tweezed before! those stubborn, thick, and fat hairs just below my brow line that have always caused me heartache with my old tweezers can now be removed relatively easily. beautiful. just beautiful.

in other face-related news, i found this video and laughed so hard my face hurt.


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

He knows

just two thoughts:

1) Heavenly Father is aware of me. and when i have asked for help, and remained faithful, He has literally opened up the windows of heaven and poured out blessings upon me.

2) the priesthood is wonderful. how incredibly grateful i am that His church is restored, along with the priesthood.

today has been better. and i know that, in the end, everything will be okay, no matter the outcome.

Monday, September 25, 2006

google me!

here are the latest and greatest google searches that have led people to my blog:

"picture of oscar meter weiners"
"the sun's not yellow, it's chicken"
"alex trebec image"
"and nothing i say can put a smile up to your face"
"sandlot was filmed"
"fullery of stephanus"
“why is the sun yellow"
“90s memories"
“human body images"
“many books"
“just some evil scheme"
“mcdonalds french fries adult"
“dove chocolate wrapper sayings list"

“interesting sayings aluminum"
“seinfeld undatable dmv"
“how do you put your past behind you"

and my personal favorite:

"what happens when your urine isn't yellow"


new and recent favorite:

"nama 5"

i feel like i should be in short circuit now. "nama number alive!!"

Thursday, September 14, 2006

what the dove?

i love chocolate. this should come as no surprise to any of you.

i particulary love dark chocolate. as it turns out, i prefer my chocolate like i prefer my men - dark, strong, and bitter.

my favorite chocolate has, of late, become dove's new rich dark chocolate. it's, in a word, divine. it has become my new addiction. i must have it. at least once a day. sometimes fifty. last week, i went running for some "exercise", and wound up running to the store to buy a bag of dove chocolates. believe me, it was well worth it.

i, however, have to put up with the stupid sayings printed on the indiviudal aluminum wrappers that were obviously created by a gaggle of oprah-watching, sex-deprived, cheesy-romance-reading, middle-age women. they are beyond annoying and cheesy. and i hate them.

so you can only imagine my surprise and anticipation when i discovered that dove has new pearls of wisdom in leafy fall packaging out in stores for the season. oh what joy. i found that some of the wrappers contained the same, unbearable cheesiness that i have grown accustomed to. a-like so...

“temptation is in is better."
“be the change you hope to see."
“find your passion."
“whisper in the dark."
“count the stars."

but i also found, to my utter gag-relfex-ness, the following fall-themed/these-women-watch-"the view"-too-much creations...

“life is a painting, cover the entire canvas."
“take yourself and a book out to lunch."
“sit around a bonfire and watch the stars."
“read a book under the autumn trees."
“get lost walking in a corn maze."
“press your favorite leaves inside a book."

come on, dove! you can do so much better. shoot, just hire the people in my current blogosphere. i know we can all come up with better sayings that these. and while you are all coming up with new dove fortunes, my blog really needs a new name. and i got nothing. help?

Monday, September 11, 2006


I didn't want to remember that today was September 11th. Perhaps I felt insenstive or guilty or maybe I just didn't want to relive those memories. Then I read a re-posting of a column Dave Barry wrote on September 13th, 2001 on his blog and the memories and thoughts people left in response. And everything can flooding back to me. Here's what I remember.

I had just started my freshman year of college. I ran out of the house that morning to take a test, and as I walked out to my car after I finished, I ran into a good friend. She asked me if I knew what was going on, realizing that I had been at school all morning, and told me to go straight home and turn on the TV. All I got from her was something about airplanes. I remember looking up at the sky before getting into my car, the early morning blue seeming eerily silent. 5 minutes later, I walked into my house to see my dad standing there, watching the television, tears in his eyes, in utter shock. He quickly gave me the run down of what had happened, the first tower had already fallen, and in the 10 minutes that I just stood there in disbelief, unable to move or take my eyes off the TV, the second tower fell.

Once I was able to somewhat function, I tried to get ahold of two people. One was a father of a dear friend who constantly traveled. I wanted to make sure he was on the ground somewhere and safe. He was suppose to have come home that morning, but had decided to fly home the night before. I sent an email to my friend Sophia, a friend from high school who had recently moved up to New York City to attend NYU. She quickly responded back, describing to me the sound of a low-flying plane they heard in class, and then silence. She said she couldn't see out of her window because of all the dust and debris. I was glad that they were both okay.

I remember feeling something at the pit of my stomach, something aching, that didn’t seem to go away. I remember waking up that next day, listening to the news radio program my alarm clock was set to, and hearing everything all over again in disbelief. It really did happen. Yesterday wasn’t a nightmare. I drove to work that day and passed a flag at a car dealership flying at half-staff, and I sobbed. That Sunday at church, we stood and sang "God bless America", and all that came out of me were tears.

I remember my little, deaf and mentally retarded brother asking me later that week why I was crying. I asked him if he knew what had happened. He said/signed to me that airplanes had hit the buildings and that they buildings had fallen. He asked me if there were people in the buildings. I told him yes. He looked at me confused, trying to comprehend everything, and then asked if they had died. I told him yes, some had, but that some did make it out. He didn’t understand, and his simple and innocent conclusion to our conversation was that the planes needed to go around the buildings. I told him yes, they needed to. I longed to feel his innocence that day.

I remember watching "The Late Show with David Letterman" the Monday after that very long week, and being glad that he was back to make me laugh, even if it was only due to the stupid "Top Ten List" that night – "Top Ten Things that Almost Rhyme with Hat". It was appropriately hilarious.

I don't have any great words of wisdom to share, just muddled thoughts. I will say this, though. I love this country, I love the people who live in this country and make it the wonderful nation it is. I can't understand the evil hatred that some harbor against us. I can't even imagine it. With so much of this hatred still in the world today, let us try to replace it with peace. Let us love each other more fully. Let us share what we have with others. Let us be good people of the world, our countries, our communities, and our homes.

"I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together."
- Martin Luther King, Jr., August 28, 1963

Friday, September 01, 2006

i don't care

i almost got myself killed the other day.

no, really. i was this close.

while walking home from work, my mind was racing with thoughts of...something...that was...extremely the time...even though i don't remember...

i pushed the crosswalk button at a stop light, waited, and, after a random synaptic misfire, started crossing the street. a mid-size jeep thinger came right for me, swerved, and kept on driving. and i just stood there confused.

"hey! i'm walking here!"

...[looks up to see red stoppy-hand about ready to slap me in the face]...

"oh, wait..."

hmmmm...and the most disrubing moment of all this was that i just didn't care. it didn't phase me that i almost died. i just kept walking.


Friday, August 25, 2006

have you been eating my make-up?

i've now declared my brain officially dead. there's not a creative spark left. nothing. gone. it's been blocked. i have nothing intelligent, funny, interesting, opinionated, and/or useful to write about right now. let's just do a quick check-up on my very unexciting, yet fulfilling, life: keeping my life interesting: check
feeling (generally) fabulous: checkapalooza
reading good books: chek-ov
reading paper on bilateral kalman filtering: checkman-kalman
understanding paper on said topic: no such check
listening to good tunes: checkin-chopin
taking care of my super-dry skin: check-cema
getting enough sleep: check minus-the-no-doze
ingesting food on a regular basis: half-hold-the-check-in
eating indian food tonight: double check-urry
family doing well: check-a-rama
in good company: here-a-check & there-a-check
alive & breathing: last time i check-ed

i just have one complaint...that blasted phone at work keeps ringing...

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

early '90s memories

part 1

a few weeks ago, i was leaving work on my lunch break, and, for some odd reason, the song "home on the range" popped into my head. huh.

"hooome, hooome on the range..."

and then 2 seconds later...

"hoooome, home at our school, where the swiss stake make everyone drool. where dissecting mice can be awfully nice..."

uhhhh...brain? did you just have that memory? in all of 10 seconds, did that entire "saved by the bell" episode run through your head? every scene from zac pretending to play guitar and sing his new, cool, rock 'n' roll school song to his tragic demise when the whole gang gives him a glass of lemon(?) water (or something) that ruins his voice so he can't sing his hip version at the big competition because, to his shock, screech's dorky version of "home on the range" got the same number of votes as his rad & really cool song? oh dear...

part 2

so last night, i was watching "unbreakable" with matt, movie #2 in our shyamalanathon, & at the beginning, the words "west philadelphia" appear on the screen. & immediately, my mind does this:

"iiiiin west philadelphia, born & raised, on the playground is where i spent most of my days. chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool & all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school..."

not wanting to reveal my inner dorkness & keep my dignity, i kept this to myself, although i was secretly quietly jamming out in my head to the fresh prince, when matt starts chuckling. i turn to inquire, & he says, "...born and raised..."

i'm glad i'm not the only one.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


have you ever tried to find that delicate balance between living your life and living your life? there's the part of your life that makes your stomach churn when you really let yourself think about it. you can't escape living this life, but you try by living each day as it comes to you and not worrying about the tomorrow or the next day after that or next week or next year. it doesn't matter. it can't.

so here i sit. feeling like the majoriy of my life has been thrown into utter chaos and dismay, with little direction and no earthly clue where it's heading. and yet, there is happiness i find, joys i can't overlook. people who help me, whether they realize it or not, to live my life while living it. to live each day as it's own and feel content to walk the uncertain and unknown paths that lay before me with confidence and faith.

balance. it is in the quiet moments of my day that i feel balance. and embrace it. this is one of them, when i don't fret, when i simply surrender. and breath.

life is great. at least at this moment. and i feel refreshed. and full of life.

Monday, August 07, 2006

happy birthday, aidan christopher!

i'm an aunt...again!

say hello to my eleventh nephew! (well, technically, he's my seventh nephew, but eleventh in the neice/nephew line.)
congratulations, mikey & camille!

update: here's my brother mikey, newly big-brother aaron, and aidan:

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Thursday, July 27, 2006

holy jeopardy postings, batman!

since kat & brittany have posted their jeopardous thoughts, i thought i might add to these posts in light of this startling news:

'jeopardy' champ jennings jabs show

what is this you say? jeopardy's wonder boy and good ole' utahan has been criticizing the canadian wonder himself, alex trebec, and the game show that has come to be known as america's senior citizen's favorite past time? gasp! for shame, kenneth.

wait? he wrote these jabs in blog form? must read...

confessions of a trivial mind: dear jeopardy! this is suppose to be "a humor piece"? so he doesn't really think that new categories such as "playstation", "skanks from reality tv who got naked in men's magazines", and "potpourri" should replace the "effete left-coast crap" categories they currently offer? and sending "the brain bus" crew into the the dark woods alone, thus creating a blair witchian scenario wherein one of the clue crew "disappears" and the other crew members, while looking "wan and emaciated" before, look "a little better-fed" after he's gone, is a bad idea? and gasp! he uses the words "cannabis" and "damn"? quick! somebody call the alumni president to get his alumnus status stricken forever!

but seriously folks, i think we all need a little lesson in "sarcasm", seeing as those at "cnn", "the associated press" and "jeopardy" think that mr. jennings' rant is "offensive" and "serious". sigh. i guess only people of such high intelligence as myself truly appreciate the "humor" in his posting and laugh "hysterically" at his "superior" genius.

in conclusion, i'll first stop using "quotation marks", and then i will sit back and laugh at the image of alex trebec, or, shall i say, "trebektron 4000" (doh! i didn't make any promises), with an engineered mustache and a french ventriloquist's dummy at his side, supporting the legalization of mary jane, reading the category "potent potables", and strangling his beloved ken jennings for letting out his secrets.

ho ho! ho ho. ho ho! (laughs into shirt sleeve) ho ho ho. huh ho!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

are you sure this isn't something vodka can handle?

yesterday, kat & i got manicures & pedicures from two asian guys. all mine said to me was "5 minutes". kat's wanted a job at her chocolately place of employment.

after, we went back to her hizzle, ate julymas leftovers ("these mash potatoes are so creamy!"), & watched "house" & "gilmore girls".

i am cherishing moments like these right now, more like savoring them, because any good moment of my day makes me feel like my life isn't all that bad right now. that i can put on a brave face and let myself smile.

and i'm not gonna lie. my french manicured toes really help with that, too.

and, as always, music seems to be doing it's part, too. here are some more musings.

"seven years" - norah jones

spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song
a little girl with nothing wrong is all alone
eyes wide open always hoping for the sun
and she'll sing her song to anyone that comes along

fragile as a leaf in autumn
just fallin' to the ground without a sound
crooked little smile on her face
tells a tale of grace that's all her own

spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song
a little girl with nothing wrong is all alone
a little girl with nothing wrong and she's all alone

"cold, cold heart" - norah jones

i've tried so hard my dear to show that you're my every dream
yet you're afraid each thing i do is just some evil scheme
a memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart
why can't i free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold heart

another love before my time made your heart sad and blue
and so my heart is paying now for things i didn't do
in anger unkind words are said
they make the teardrops start
why can't i free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold heart

there was a time when i believed that you belonged to me
but now i know your heart is shackled to a memory
the more i learn to care for you the more we drift apart
why can't i free your doubtful mind and melt you cold cold heart

Saturday, July 22, 2006

don't hate me

i right now feel my life can best be expressed through angry songs and interpretive dance. here's the music. now picture jack sparrow in a tutu and let your imagination run wild.


chomsky - light

don't set me down easy, don't shield me from light
it might start to burn and maybe that's right
so give me your reasons and don't take all night
don't set me down easy, don't shield me from

try the new deception
throw me off, push me hard, false start, falling off the mark
cover all intentions with a little dark
seeing it in motion
mumbling, stumbling, so weak, so insecure
keep all your inventions
time to make things pure

don't set me down easy, don't shield me from light
it might start to burn and maybe that's right
so give me your reasons and don't take all night
don't set me down easy, don't shield me from

can't get any clearer
poor excuses and notions and reasons - all in the way
get me out from under and come what may
pushing it to crisis
feel explosions, close in, build up, had enough

wasting all my profits
i'm down
wasting all my profits
i'm down
don't let the bastards be your masters

don't set me down easy, don't shield me from light
it might start to burn and maybe that's right
so give me your reasons and don't take all night
don't set me down easy, don't shield from

give it all to me at once
hit me with your strong full force
pain will wash everything gone
and i'll keep moving on, be rest assured

i won't slow down
i will run, run, run
yes i will
i won't slow down
i will run, run, run

so don't do me any favors
just come clean, shoot to kill, make it fast, cue the stun
go ahead, try and explain it
either way i'm done

wasting all my profits
i'm down
wasting all my profits
i'm down
don't let the bastards be your masters


jamie cullum - nothing i do

we were so drunk last night
we had that stupid fight
you called me a useless, selfish prick
so i'm in a fix right now
and we'll measure the truth somehow
love is a funny thing to me

then you stormed out and grabbed your coat whilst slamming shut the door
a ruthless move so cold you left your keys inside the door

can nothing i do make you happy anymore
can nothing i say put a smile on to your face
can nothing i say bring us back together
can nothing i do put a smile on to your face

the next day i called your back
and you called a stupid twat
and then you were crying on the phone
you sounded so said i wasn't the man you met
three years and seven months ago

i pleaded with her take me back, i'll change my sorry ways
so tell me why mysteriously i'm annoyed instead of shamed

can nothing i do make you happy anymore
can nothing i say put a smile on to your face
can nothing i do bring us back together
can nothing i say put a smile on to your face

i'm pondering it all after that call
i think it is clear
if i'm here, you're from another stratosphere
all the things she said, they run around my head and come out my ear
and not long before, this stubborn soul thinks he's done no wrong

as crander questions flutter round my head like butterflies
my head spins out reflecting on another love's demise

can nothing i do make you happy anymore
can nothing i say put a smile on to your face
can nothing i do bring us back together
can nothing i say put a smile on to your face


Friday, July 21, 2006

so what had happened was...

i'm in desparate need of a hug.

a big one.

and a dove rich dark chocolate bar.

a really big one.


any takers?

Monday, July 17, 2006

i wish i were an oscar meyer weiner


alright. here i go again. i know what i have to do, what's required of me. i know what i have to do to keep my head above water. i know your mom's fatter than greenland.

*deep breath*

okay, to keep my self smiling, i'm going to listen to some jamie cullum, watch crazy asian guys lip-sing backstreet boys, and throw those little squishy stress ball around at work (they say byu independent study on them and look like a globe).

here's my jamie cullum song of the moment:

i'm glad there is you

said i many times, love is illusion
a feeling result of confusion
with knowing smile and blasé sigh
a cynical so and so, am i

i feel so sure, so positive
so utterly unchangeably certain
though i never was aware of loving you
'til i suddenly realised there was love in you and oh...

in this world of ordinary people
extraordinary people
i'm glad there is you

in this world of overrated pleasures
and underrated treasures
i'm glad there is you

i live to love
i love to live with you beside me
this role, so new i'll muddle through with you
if you'll guide me through

in this world where many play at love
and hardly any stay in love
i'm glad there is you

more than ever, I'm glad there is you

said I many times, love is illusion...


and speaking of your mom and laughter, i found her picture on google!

Monday, July 10, 2006

i think i'm in love

isn't he beautiful? isn't he lovely? i'm sure he's wonderful. and that's why i want him.

behold the black ibook. in the words of david cassidy, "i think i love you".

and i fully admit it. congratulations, steve jobs. you finally got me. your nazi/gestapo gang of apple minions must have successfully kidnapped me in my sleep, inundated me with apple propaganda under the bright light of one of those interrogation...light...thingers...and i then woke up the next day thinking, "i want an apple. i need an apple. huh."

or maybe it's the fact that my laptop is slowing dying. my 'shift' key just broke. so now i REALLY can't type in UPPERCASE, or Capitalize, even if i wanted to. have you seen the pc/mac commercials? the more my pc breaks, the more i laugh.

& on a related note, i came across this mock-a-mercial today via dave barry via youtube via best week ever (i love you mo rocca):

"do you mean, like, stupid stupid, or cool stupid."

& on an unrelated note, the classics geek in me thinks this is hilarious (& makes me recoil at the fact that they spell vergil the unclassic way):

bush regales dinner guests with impromptu oratory on virgil's minor works

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

best 4th ever

i think america pretty much had the best birthday ever yesterday (at least in my book).

it started with yummy chad pancakes and ending with a viewing of "the sandlot" with plenty of party time in between. oh glorious day.

the most fitting tribute to america was obviously the freedom festival parade, with elaborate floats that won such awards & titles as "outstanding depiction of legacy" and "most beautiful women likely to wave at moydie". the parade participants sure were proud to be american, especially the army guys shooting blanks into the audience of american-loving & cheering parade goers:

ARMY GUYS W/ GUNS: we love america!

PARADE GOERS: shoot us! yeah! go america!!

AGWG: alright! *bang* *bang* we love america!

PG: yeah, you do! *hack* *weeze*

AGWG: happy birthday america! *bang* *bang* we love guns!

PG: woo *gag* hoo *death*...

happy birthday, indeed.

this momentous event was followed by a perfectly hot day at the pool, a kneaders sandwich, & home-baked ziti. and then, of course, there was "the sandlot".

"first, you take the graham..."

i didn't get to actually see fireworks last night, but the 4th of july scene with a moving gospel rendition of "america, the beauitful" playing in the background was, quote-un-quote, most excellent. those fireworks were amazing! it made me want to play baseball under a brightly lit night sky & sing to america! good times...until i remembered how un-athletic i am...

"you're killin' me, smalls!"

in conclusion, happy birthday america! 230 years sho' did treat you right!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

stop the madness!!

would somebody PLEASE explain this "shirt" to me?

is this suppose to be attractive, because it's not. i'm not even sure what to call IT. it's like the rebel member of the vest family, which doesn't help its cause. did we not learn from our early 90s (or, as i like to call that period, 80s-throw-up) fashion mistakes?

call me "old", but i don't understand what the kids are wearing these days. with efy going on, i've seen travesty after fashion travesty invade campus in the form of teeny-boppers wearing the "opposite vest" and many other new-fangled creations i don't understand. like this:

why in the world would you take a perfectly delightful a-line skirt and bunch up the bottom to create a bubble effect? to match you fat mom's bubble butt? because i cannot concieve how adding extra fabric where no fabric should ever be to ANY piece makes it attractive. girls, it doesn't! especially with the above "shirt" and the one below. more fabric where it shouldn't be = shapelessness = not good. hugesque bows are equally unflattering, especially when placed at the widest part of the female body. it just boggles my mind why any woman would wear a shirt that emphasizes her hips with a wide band & ginormous bow and THEN proceeds to poof out in a pregnant-like manner over the belly. why?! and don't even get me started on this atrociousness: gah! pants & skirts DO NOT go together. they are meant to be separate entities, and it should stay that way. *shudder*

Thursday, June 22, 2006

let the fat mom jokes commence...

"you put your weed in there!"

oh the possibilities!

UPDATE: guess what your mom wants for julymas?

Monday, June 19, 2006

mr. fish, did you die?

remember when i was raving about snow, how much i loved the first line of the book, and how excited i was to read great literature again?

well...the honeymoon is over, and i finally had to killed the book about half way through. i REALLY tried hard to read that dang thing, but, alas, i could not go further. i think i read a total of 2 or 3 chapters last week, hoping it would get better, but being thoroughly disappointed every time. i was given special permission to finally put it out of it's misery and pick up something i actually want to read. so here's my beef with snow:

the writing? fantastic!
the characters & their development? satisfactory.
the subject matter? shoot me now.

it's not that i don't think the conflict between traditional islam & revolutionary/go democracy! islam isn't an interesting subject matter. the fictionalized version of it just isn't my cup o' tea. in one word, it was boring. i would turn every page, hoping to find more character development of ka, the atheist poet returned from germany, finding God through his poetry. instead, a long discussion would ensue about the issue of wearing head scarves in public schools. and i would get bored. i held out as long as i could; really, i did! the depth and brilliance of the writing were the only things keeping me going thus far, but it finally had to die. and quickly. like ripping off a bandaid. one swift motion, RIGHT off.

side effects? the need/want/urge to buy more books, even though i have a small stack waiting to be read.


i am now the proud owner of sense and sensibility, emma's war (recommended to me by liz), & mutants: on genetic variety and the human body. this last selection i found while wandering the biology section at borders. it has a picture of a man on the cover who has no limbs; just a head, a torso, feet, & hands. it was love at first sight. i asked kat if it was strange that i really wanted this book.

"for you or for a normal person?"


Tuesday, June 13, 2006

you gotta put your behind in your past

our last assignment in senior english was to write a letter to ourselves that our teacher, mrs. gaskin (aka, gaskolnikov, as we so aptly named her when he read crime & punishment), would mail to us in 5 years. having completely forgotten about this letter, my mom called me last week to tell me she had received a letter in the mail for me...from me...oh dear.

i remember writing those letters in young womens to ourselves/future husbands and keeping them in my mia maid scrapbook of flowerly young women things. ugh.

so you can only imagine my excitement and anticipation. however, all joking aside, the letter was incredibly entertaining! i wrote some sappiness toward the beginning that i skimmed over, but then i listed page after page of high school memories i didn't want myself to forget. oh the mind of an optimistic 18-year-old. while i did remember most of the list, there were a few that i could not figure out. i called my best friend, who i have known since elementary school, to piece together all the randomness in front of me. and hilarity ensued.

"remember when there was a huge power outage senior year that caused the powers that be to close down the school for the day? and we went to dino's & watched the matrix and in the middle of the movie, atticus said "hey! it's the spen boonder guy!" and we died?"

"remember when we "broke up" in middle school? twice. and we walked to school on opposite sides of the street glaring at each other?"

"remember when we went to friday's & kari table danced? for the first time?

"remember when we would cram 4-6 people in the back of your car on the way home from school? and we lived to tell the tale?"

it was good to feel all nostagicy last night. it made me want to listen to chomsky and watch can't hardly wait.

"why you gotta be wasting my flava?!"

Thursday, June 08, 2006

return of the heckler

i watched "lord of the rings: return of the king" last night. i wasn't sure if i'd be able to make it through the whole thing in one sitting...but i did! and i remembered why at the end of that very long 3 & a half hour block...because i LOVE that movie! mostly because of the memories that are associated with it. let me explain...

exhibit 'a'
december 2003, wednesday of finals week. opening night.
a gaggle of 2nd warders purchased tickets to see "return of the king", and we arrived at least a couple of hours early to stand in line outside the theatre. there were about 20ish of us. when he finally got into the theatre, everyone decided it was time to potty, get food, etc and left 3 of us there so save 20ish seats. and i was one of them. i remember sprawling my 5'4 frame across an entire row of seats and giving people "the crazy eye" when they walked by trying to find seats. "these are taken!! grrrrr." when the previews started, a teaser trailer for the second mask movie was shown, and in that stunned silence after the preview, somebody a few rows back said, "i smell on oscar!" i died. we died. it was hilarious. oh, and the movie was great, too.

exhibit 'b'
may 2004, relief society presidency retreat, caroline's grandparent's basement.

caroline, camille, em, & i rented "return of the king", bought tons of junk food, and drove up to her grandparent's house to "bond". the entire 3 and a half hours, we did nothing but heckle and laugh at the movie. case in point:

*during the scene where the orcs storm the bridge into gondor, there's an orc in the background that dances, yes dances, across screen. i don't remember who noticed him, but we rewound it at least 10 times to watch the dancing orc prance around. and we died.
during the seiging of minas tirith, the orcs and their huge troll are banging on the door to the next level trying to break through while the gondorian soldiers wait on the other side. when the shot pans to the orcs banging at the door, em said, "knock knock. who's there? orc! orc who? orc'nt you glad you got that door there." hilarious.

*legolas is so great and entertaining in this movie! the scene where he takes down the elephant one-handed was always my favorite. the best part is the look on his face after he slides down the elephant's trunk. it says to me, "huh. that was cool." it's classic. another moment is when the men are discussing how to further help frodo and sam now that they've crossed into mordor. aragorn's plan to is draw the army of sauron out of mordor to clear the way for the hobbits, and as they discuss this plan, legolas all of a sudden pipes up and says dramatically, "a diversion!" yeah, thanks elf man for getting us all caught up.

*and of course, the never-ending ending. all right peter jackson, a movie should end when you fade to black the FIRST time, not the 45TH. frodo & sam destroyed the ring. now they're on a rock surrounded by lava. fade. gandalf & the eagles save them and they reunite with their friends. fade. aragorn is king, bow to the hobbits. fade. we're back in the shire and life is good. fade. goodbye bilbo and frodo. fade. sam's home again. fade. seriously. this multiple ending takes up half the movie. annoying, but always entertaining in the end. because then you can choose your own ending! and then just turn the movie off feeling satisfied.


in conclusion, good movie. good times. good 3 and half hours of my life wasted. aww the life of a college graduate.

Friday, June 02, 2006


this one time...a boy called to ask me out. he said, "let's go rock climbing!" and i said, "okay", with a hint of trepidation in my voice.

not that i don't want to, but, you see, i have wimpy girl arms due to my...well...girliness combined with the lack of yogic(?) consistency. therefore, i think my arms might either snap off or cause me to fall to my death.

and all for a date.

oh the humanity.

Friday, May 26, 2006

the space between

sometimes it seems as though i've reached an impasse. one that i cannot seem to pass through.

and then the phone rings. and i feel that familiar feeling in my stomach.

i still get butterflies every time he calls me.

i'm holding my heart out on a string. i have been for some time. i know i do this too easily. too fast. but i can't pull it back. not yet. there is still that hope. that pull. my heart tells me to stay.

so i do.

my mind tells me i'm defying all logic. all reasoning. therein lies the battle. the impasse. between heart and mind. body and spirit. while one cannot exist without the other, i must listen to one. and only one.

i still feel butterflies.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

random fug

once upon a time, i graduated. and then my life became REALLY boring. and while i've been emotionally strained as of late, my life has been pretty uneventful. so here's a random stream from my consciousness.


i read "the da vinci code". finally. i REALLY didn't want to because i hate giving in to hype. but i did. and i enjoyed 95% of the book, the twists and turns, the code-breaking and complete lack of depth and character development, but at what was suppose to be the climax the book, the moment where the teacher was revealed and langdon had to do some quick thinking to save the cryptex and sophie, it was really awesome for like 2 seconds, but then the remaining chapters of the book were just plain blah, down to the cheesy "meet me in florence and we'll make out" scene between langdon and sophie. if i had wanted to read about love, i would have picked up some jane austin, but no, i wanted to be thrilled and mystified. instead, i was holding back vomit and wanting to know where the freakin' grail was! and then in the epilogue, langdon was all like, "oh, the grail's in the louvre." hmmm...interesting, interesting, and why am i no longer thrilled and mystified? oh because you can't write mr. dan brown. sure you kept the pace, the mystery, and the suspense throughout MOST of the book, but the only character you really delve into was silas, the book really isn't that well written (even i noticed some grammatical mistakes - and the man can't write prose for the love of all that is john steinbeck), and again with the lame ending! geez. but now i'm reading "snow" by orhan pamuk. i'm only a few chapters in, but the greatness of this book as compared to song and dance of "the da vinci code" has already manifested itself. observe the first two lines:
The silence of snow, thought the man sitting just behind the bus driver. If this were the beginning of a poem, he would have called the thing he felt inside him the silence of snow.
man, it feels great to get back into great literature again!


i bought a muted-lime green purse. and it's hot. and i'm a little bit in love. stacey london would be proud.


i finally got my big fat check in the mail from the research conference i participated in last month. my poster about 10,000 year-old marine shells won be a whopping $25! yeehaw.


i love being warm again! i love the feeling of walking outside at night and waiting to get cold...waiting...and waiting...and staying warm! i heart utah in the spring! remember when we broke up last month because it was snowing? all is forgiven and i'm in the mood for love!


i saw "akeelah and the bee" last weekend, and this quote by marianne williamson was read twice:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
i guess this subject has been pressed upon my mind as of late. as i attempt to figure my life out, where i should be heading, what i should be doing, i just don't know where to go from here. and all the while, i know i am being lead by an invisible force from on high, pushed and shoved to that place i have yet to reach. and that brings me peace. while i don't know how my life will pan out in the next few years, i think i'm okay with that. He has never failed me yet. all things will work together for my good, if i let it.


just one more, so as to not end on a sappy/deep note: i listened to the beatles a lot this week. and it made me happy.