Saturday, October 08, 2005

it never rains when you want it to

i'm exhausted, beyond sleep. my professors apparently decided to gang up on my this week and make my life a living you-know-what. 3 midterms, 2 papers, and extra meetings, on top of my normal homework load led to sleepless nights, not having time to eat, and a sore throat.

i'm drained, mentally and physically. i want to be happy now that my week's over, but i'm not. i have dry sockets, wanting those tears to come, but i find myself sitting here emotionless and barely having the energy to get out of bed.

you know, my life is really not that hard. i've always been able to handle anything the Lord throws at me. why not now? why do i feel so weak and broken right now? i'm thirsty, yet cannot find water to quinch my dry throat. i'm hungry, but nothing satisfies. i'm lonely, yet within reach of support. my barriers are up, but there is not rain to break them down.

went out on a limb, gone too far
broken down on the side of the road
stranded on the outskirts and the sun's creepin up
i don't want to call you but you're all i have to turn to
what do you say when it's all gone away?
truth spoken whispers will tear you apart, no matter how hard you resist it
it never rains when you want it to
you humble me, Lord
i'm on my knees empty
humble me, Lord
Please, please, please forgive me
you humble me

i know that brighter days lie ahead. the rain will come, my thirst will be quenched, my hunger will be satisfied, and the rain will come. i will overcome, i will be happy, and He will come to take away these burdens, hold me in His arms, and quiet all my fears.

sunset doesn't last all evening, a mind can blow those things away
it's not always going to be this grey
all things must pass away
none of life's strings could last
so, i must be on my way, face another day
darkness only stays the night time
in the morning it will fade away
daylight is good at arriving at the right time
its not always going to be this grey
all things must pass
all things must pass away


  1. "It can't rain all the time"
    -Eric Draven

  2. You'll be alright girl. Hang in there. I love you like crazy.

  3. we should watch a sappy movie. that's what i always do when i want to cry but can't.
    and we can eat chocolate too.
    with chocolate chips in them.
    mmm...ok, we're so doing this.

  4. wow. I am glad you took the time to express your self like this. I think writing/expression like this is beautiful even if the feeling is not.