Monday, October 31, 2005

happy halloween!

brought to you by the cutest kid in the whole world, my little bro turtle dressed as rollie pollie ollie.
and here are some other cute pictures of him, just to make you smile! he's just so lovable! and cute! can't you tell we're related...

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

who needs chocolate?

yesterday was tragic, today was terrible, and i have a feeling that tomorrow will be ugly.

i was thinking of posting a plea for somebody, somewhere, to make me laugh. shoot, just making me smile would make my day(s) better.

and then a good friend came over. with pizza. and we girl-talked. and we laughed. a lot. and even though i ate pizza until i was at the bursting point (and it wasn't even that good), i felt better. the only thing missing was chocolate. and i bought chocolate soy milk later to remedy that.

pizza + a really good friend who makes you laugh at life = a better day

yeah, friends are SO MUCH better than chocolate sometimes...

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


what does it mean to be human? how do you perceive yourself as human and all the implications that come with it? what do you do to show your humanity?

do you know that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, a feeling of helplessness, of ingratitude, and of being so small in this world? if you are human, you should feel this way when you see these faces.

a 7.6 earthquake hit pakistan, kashmir, and india on october 8th. have you heard the stories or seen the pictures? shame on you, american media. remember hurricane katrina? the stories, the pictures, the talk shows, the concerts and benefits, the continued coverage? hurricane katrina was nothing compared to the devastation, the loss of life, the lack of aid, and the overall tragedy of this earthquake. why do we not care? they are humans, too. God loves them as much as He loves us. why does the media shove this story into the "international" news and pay very little attention to it compared to other "top news stories"? we are all humans, we all matter. these people are mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands, children, and friends, just like us. they smile, laugh, cry, frown, and hurt, just like us.

79,000 have lost their lives, 3.3 million have been left homeless, and thousands more in the remote mountain regions of pakistan have not yet received any aid and are now left, homeless and completely exposed to the elements. UN secretary-general kofi annan pledged today for the desperate need for more aid, saying the amount given thus far falls short by 90%. much more will be needed to save these people. "there are no excuses," annan said. "if we are to show ourselves worthy of calling ourselves members of humankind, we must rise to this challenge. our response will be no less than a measure of our humanity."

be human. care enough to at least keep these millions of survivors in your prayers, and please give monetarily if you can. never let disasters such as this go unwatched simply because it didn't happen in america.
just a few ways to give:
american red cross
concern worldwide
habitat for humanity
islamic relief
network for good
president's earthquake relief fund

Saturday, October 15, 2005

and now for something completely different...

a man with a tape recorder up his nose...*applause*

top 13 things i learned this week:

  1. life can be tough, but it could be worse. i could be dying from pink eye. ew.
  2. my new favorite anatomical term: medulla oblongata...5 points to anyone who knows what that is!
  3. the new Dasani raspberry flavored water is quite delightful. but the lemon flavored one is better.
  4. my watch has nickel in it, i'm ballergic, and icky rashes aren't very fun.
  5. the hot chocolate at chevron has milk in it. i don't think you want to know how i found that one out.
  6. somebody loves me...according to some guy who yelled "i love you!" from his car when i crossed the freedom/8th north intersection...special...
  7. i can take a shower, shave my legs, dry my hair, put on makeup, iron a skirt, and get dressed in less than an hour. woot.
  8. jay has an unnatural obsession with women's footware...aaaand it disturbs me a little bit.
  9. my best friend's birthday was yesterday, which means i'll be turning 23 soon...and i don't know how i feel about that...
  10. marie osmond called, and she wants her creepy mormon perkiness back.
  11. em's mom called, and she's fat.
  12. a pituitary gland called, and it wants its growth hormones back from kat.
  13. jon's doctor called to remind him of his lobotomy today.

and now for something completely different...a man with a tape recorder up his brother's nose. *cue monty python's theme music*

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

i wish i had a river i could skate away on
i wish i had a river so long i would teach my feet to fly

why am i so scared? why am i putting myself under so much pressure? why can i not let the bygones of my past become bygones? why am i lactose intolerant? this isn't suppose to be hard. why am i making it so? my reason and emotions are stuck in an eternal battle of wits, and it's driving me crazy. in this corner, we have my white personality! *CHEERS* and in this blue personality! *BOOOS*

i find myself in an interesting position, one which frightens me, confuses me, and stresses me out. for so long now, i've only had school and inconsequential nonsense to worry and stress me out. i seriously thought to myself over the summer, well don't i have it good.

i have been so incredibly blessed this past year, and i think in some weird, masochistic way, i expected certain aspects of my life that were stable to suddenly come unraveled. do you ever pray for trails? well, it seems like a good idea at the time.

i feel lost and uncertain, yet calm and collected. i feel ready and open, yet apprehensive and insecure. i don't even know how to handle this, how to get past all the junk that's obstructing me from being myself and letting go of just a little part of me.

i don't know where to go, which side to choose. i'm stuck, searching for those wildflowers. someone once told me that i will always feel peace when i follow the Lord's will. i want that peace, so desperately. i want to come home, come back into His arms, and have His hand continually stretched out for me. i'm walking into that dark unknown, knowing His hand is there, knowing he will never lead me astray. that is where i belong.

you belong among the wildflowers
you belong in a boat out at sea
sail away, kill off the hours
you belong somewhere you feel free
run away, let your heart be your guide
you deserve the deepest of cover
you belong in that home by and by
you belong among the wildflowers
far away from your trouble and worry
you belong somewhere you feel free

Saturday, October 08, 2005

it never rains when you want it to

i'm exhausted, beyond sleep. my professors apparently decided to gang up on my this week and make my life a living you-know-what. 3 midterms, 2 papers, and extra meetings, on top of my normal homework load led to sleepless nights, not having time to eat, and a sore throat.

i'm drained, mentally and physically. i want to be happy now that my week's over, but i'm not. i have dry sockets, wanting those tears to come, but i find myself sitting here emotionless and barely having the energy to get out of bed.

you know, my life is really not that hard. i've always been able to handle anything the Lord throws at me. why not now? why do i feel so weak and broken right now? i'm thirsty, yet cannot find water to quinch my dry throat. i'm hungry, but nothing satisfies. i'm lonely, yet within reach of support. my barriers are up, but there is not rain to break them down.

went out on a limb, gone too far
broken down on the side of the road
stranded on the outskirts and the sun's creepin up
i don't want to call you but you're all i have to turn to
what do you say when it's all gone away?
truth spoken whispers will tear you apart, no matter how hard you resist it
it never rains when you want it to
you humble me, Lord
i'm on my knees empty
humble me, Lord
Please, please, please forgive me
you humble me

i know that brighter days lie ahead. the rain will come, my thirst will be quenched, my hunger will be satisfied, and the rain will come. i will overcome, i will be happy, and He will come to take away these burdens, hold me in His arms, and quiet all my fears.

sunset doesn't last all evening, a mind can blow those things away
it's not always going to be this grey
all things must pass away
none of life's strings could last
so, i must be on my way, face another day
darkness only stays the night time
in the morning it will fade away
daylight is good at arriving at the right time
its not always going to be this grey
all things must pass
all things must pass away

Saturday, October 01, 2005

i'm sorry

sometimes, i'm a spaz. and i don't know why. one minute, i'm fine and calm and focused and completely bareable. and mind decides to take a vacation (jealous!) and i become a spaz.

and i'm sorry. really sorry.

my high school theater director told me that he couldn't stand me my freshman and sophomore year because, quote, "you were a spaz". but seriously, who wasn't at that age?! i then matured, somewhat, and grew out of my spazy past. or at least i thought i did. because time and time again, i all of a sudden realize that i'm acting like a spaz.

and then i cry (not really) and hate myself for the rest of the day (just a little bit).

but i really am sorry. please smack my over the head when i become evil-spaz-girl. and maybe, just maybe, i will one day, with your help, FINALLY not be a complete spaz (sometimes).